love it when people misunderstand a topic that doesn’t affect them because it’s tied to a community that they’re not a part of and then when you tell them not to meddle + explain the real issue to them they go all woe is me i’m just trying to talk and you’re being so mean
why is this site so scared of the word men, please stop talking down to men who like men by calling them “soft boys”, being a man and liking men is okay, being “soft” and being a man is good, you can be good and be a man. As someone who has been groped and mocked by women, called a “kid and a boy” and sexuality humiliated, no, it is not great to see every post talking to me as if I’m a baby and need to be called “boy.” You can be a man and good. You can considered yourself nonbinary, go by he/him pronouns, and be good. You do not have to be a stereotypical “pretty boy” to be good. Men who like men are good.
This is a good post but that is… not the normal context in which “soft boy” is used at all as far as I’ve seen. Like this seems to imply it’s a homophobic comment but as far as I’ve understood it it’s just what people say about men/boys that seems kind/nice?
the point is that men can be nice and the soft boy thing is so annoying at this point
Yes, that is why I said this is a good post, but I’ve never seen “soft boy” directed at men because of “men liking men” as the OP said. Also I find the last line about being “considered a stereotypical pretty boy” odd because I also don’t think people say “soft boy” based on looks at all (I’ve certainly never seen that in the context we are in right now), that seems like a separate issue to me (calling someone a “soft boy” is Tumblr culture isn’t meant to be insulting or sexual as far as I can tell by context, however the if you were to call someone a “pretty boy” that has a bit of a cultural history of being used to humiliate “feminine” men).
I’d also like to say that “soft boy” as a term OUTSIDE of the small sphere of Tumblr/Internet that I frequent DOES have a different, more derogatory meaning occasionally and if people have had a bad experience with being called that in a more general/IRL context that would make sense as well.
I think it’s something that individual people will have vastly different reactions to for different reasons and it’s not intended (in context) to be insulting at all. It seems that people are coming at the phrase from different cultural standpoints. I also think that like most things like this: if someone tells you not to call them something, you should probably stop. But trying to police language in a wider context because it’s something you personally dislike being called (when the language in question isn’t a horrific slur) is just a little. Something. By all means, make a post saying “I HATE THIS PHRASE” though.
thanks for writing an essay on something that you’re not involved with and don’t understand
1. just because you haven’t seen something happen doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen
2. nobody said it was derogatory. if anything it’s annoying and infantilising but the real issue is the larger implication that male/male relations are dirty and need to be softened up with childish language
… I replied to your public reply to my response to another public post on tumblr.com
thanks for upholding my belief that I shouldn’t try to talk to people on tumblr in general though, I love feeling belittled and condescended to for trying to have a conversation. have a super day.
wasn’t trying to belittle you or anything, you said in your tags that you’re a woman and this is an issue in the mlm community that you decided to comment on. yes free speech and everything but like some topics don’t need your opinion because they don’t affect you. thanks
why is this site so scared of the word men, please stop talking down to men who like men by calling them “soft boys”, being a man and liking men is okay, being “soft” and being a man is good, you can be good and be a man. As someone who has been groped and mocked by women, called a “kid and a boy” and sexuality humiliated, no, it is not great to see every post talking to me as if I’m a baby and need to be called “boy.” You can be a man and good. You can considered yourself nonbinary, go by he/him pronouns, and be good. You do not have to be a stereotypical “pretty boy” to be good. Men who like men are good.
This is a good post but that is… not the normal context in which “soft boy” is used at all as far as I’ve seen. Like this seems to imply it’s a homophobic comment but as far as I’ve understood it it’s just what people say about men/boys that seems kind/nice?
the point is that men can be nice and the soft boy thing is so annoying at this point
Yes, that is why I said this is a good post, but I’ve never seen “soft boy” directed at men because of “men liking men” as the OP said. Also I find the last line about being “considered a stereotypical pretty boy” odd because I also don’t think people say “soft boy” based on looks at all (I’ve certainly never seen that in the context we are in right now), that seems like a separate issue to me (calling someone a “soft boy” is Tumblr culture isn’t meant to be insulting or sexual as far as I can tell by context, however the if you were to call someone a “pretty boy” that has a bit of a cultural history of being used to humiliate “feminine” men).
I’d also like to say that “soft boy” as a term OUTSIDE of the small sphere of Tumblr/Internet that I frequent DOES have a different, more derogatory meaning occasionally and if people have had a bad experience with being called that in a more general/IRL context that would make sense as well.
I think it’s something that individual people will have vastly different reactions to for different reasons and it’s not intended (in context) to be insulting at all. It seems that people are coming at the phrase from different cultural standpoints. I also think that like most things like this: if someone tells you not to call them something, you should probably stop. But trying to police language in a wider context because it’s something you personally dislike being called (when the language in question isn’t a horrific slur) is just a little. Something. By all means, make a post saying “I HATE THIS PHRASE” though.
thanks for writing an essay on something that you’re not involved with and don’t understand
1. just because you haven’t seen something happen doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen
2. nobody said it was derogatory. if anything it’s annoying and infantilising but the real issue is the larger implication that male/male relations are dirty and need to be softened up with childish language
why is this site so scared of the word men, please stop talking down to men who like men by calling them “soft boys”, being a man and liking men is okay, being “soft” and being a man is good, you can be good and be a man. As someone who has been groped and mocked by women, called a “kid and a boy” and sexuality humiliated, no, it is not great to see every post talking to me as if I’m a baby and need to be called “boy.” You can be a man and good. You can considered yourself nonbinary, go by he/him pronouns, and be good. You do not have to be a stereotypical “pretty boy” to be good. Men who like men are good.
This is a good post but that is… not the normal context in which “soft boy” is used at all as far as I’ve seen. Like this seems to imply it’s a homophobic comment but as far as I’ve understood it it’s just what people say about men/boys that seems kind/nice?
the point is that men can be nice and the soft boy thing is so annoying at this point
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