whew ok this is a question that requires a long and complicated answer. i actually plan to make a more intricate analysis of griffguts as a relationship and how it affects the story soon, but i’ll answer in short hand for now. these are the three main components as to why i think guts is attracted to griffith, making their attraction reciprocal:
1. griffith is guts “special person”, and vice versa. what i mean by this is that griffith is the one person guts has continually wanted to impress and keep a part of him. as guts himself says the morning before leaving the hawks, griffith is the one person he wants to look at him. the relationship guts has with griffith holds a lot of parallels to his relationship with gambino – guts wants to prove himself and be valuable to them. guts driving goal, even at this point in the series (tho miura has sort of veered off the path of the main storyline right now) is to be special to and worthy of griffith. his choice to leave the hawks was a result of thinking he wasn’t good enough to be griffiths friend, and that he needed to become worthy of that distinction – unlike the others in the hawks, guts isn’t satisfied with just following griffith. he really has no investment in griffiths dream as a concept or ideal, he just cares about it because griffith does. guts wants to be an equal and a friend to griffith, and leaving the hawks seemed to him the only way it was possible to do that. post eclipse, guts still strives for griffiths attention. his revenge isn’t really about avenging his friends, it’s about getting griffith to look at him again. that’s why hearing femto say “his petty existence is beneath our notice”, and hearing ngriff say he “feels nothing” towards him are such strong triggers for guts rage. he wants griffiths attention and to be something to him.
2. guts is framed in the narrative and through artistic emphasis as being physically attracted to griffith. if you sift through the manga and look at the panels (i can’t add visual aides for this bc i’m on mobile now lol) where guts reminisces about griffith, griffith is actually drawn as being MORE BEAUTIFUL than he was drawn from a neutral perspective when the event guts is flashbacking to actually happened. i don’t think this reflects miuras change in style or anything like that, i think it’s a purposeful insight into how heavily romanticized griffith is in guts eyes (also the majority of guts major recurring flashbacks are shots of griff naked ie. the “i will get my own kingdom” when they have the water fight, neogriffith riding away naked after the rebirth, etc so do with that what you will lol)
3. guts still has difficulty separating “his” griffith from the new griffith. the first and perhaps most overlooked example of this is the beast of darkness. as a representation of guts darker side, the beast basically encompasses guts feelings of rage, hatred, isolation, and betrayal. it also represents the love he had for “his” griffith that has now been corrupted by the events of the eclipse. the beast of darkness is very sexual in tone, even in the words it uses to describe guts feelings. i could say a lot about this but the one thing i really do want to point out are the similarities between guts encounter with slan and the way the beast words how guts should kill griffith – both of them involve guts “thrusting” his sword into them. which is so unsubtle lol but who ever said miura was subtle. the beast urges guts to kill the “distractions” that are acting as a salve to his rage, aka his new friends and casca, and to go after griffith and force griffith to look at him again, ultimately culminating in griffiths death. again, this ties into the two points i made above – guts craves griffiths attention, and he finds griffith attractive. instead of, say, chopping griffs head off, the preferred method of death the beast gives is one that is very personal, and reflects a highly sexualized situation guts was in before where he wounded slan. i refuse to believe it’s a coincidence that the beast, and therefore guts, chooses to make griffiths potential death a sexualized event. but this violent, highly sexualized, animalistic dark side of guts is at conflict with guts higher self. when guts sees griffith on the hill of swords, looking so similar to how he did back when he was “his” griffith, he “[forgot his] urge to kill.” despite the deep wound of betrayal griffith has inflicted guts with, and the rage guts feels over it, his feelings of love for griffith block out his hatred. and isn’t it sort of tragic, that after all that’s happened, guts can’t even really hate griffith? just like how even after being betrayed and tortured for a year, griffith couldn’t manage to reach up and choke guts when he first saw him again in the tower. their feelings of love for each other drown out the hate and betrayal.
it’s not just the story of two dudes obsessed with each other and trying to deal w/ that obsession in various stupid ways
it’s the story about a dude whose every plot relevant decision is based on how he thinks another dude feels about him
joining the hawks? dedicating his sword to him and feeling at home? deciding to leave the hawks? deciding to stay again but too late? war declaration followed by a three year monster murder spree? deciding to try really hard to get over his obsession and take casca to elfhelm?
like, when it comes right down to it, griffith’s feelings are the really important ones. they’re the feelings that drive the plot, because guts’ every fucking decision is made based on what he thinks those feelings are. that’s why the golden age revolved around them, and that’s why the current big mystery is “how does neogriffith really feel?”
from back in the black swordsman arc:
to the current decision he’s still on:
and that’s another reason I think NGriff’s beating heart is going to become very relevant to Guts eventually. it’s what berserk is about.
like the ~academic~ way of putting this is that
Berserk is the story of a man’s desire for intepersonal connection due to his abusive childhood, but that keeps coming back to Griffith. He’s the connection Guts wants and later doesn’t want to want. The true light every other light is measured up to.
So yk Berserk is a story about a dude whose motivation is almost solely based around another guy’s apparent feelings or lack thereof for him.
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